The Best Hockey Jokes to Keep the Ice Broken
Are you ready to break the ice with some hilarious hockey jokes? Whether you’re a die-hard fan or just love a good laugh, our collection of hockey jokes will have you cracking up faster than you can say “slapshot”. From puns to one-liners, these jokes score big on humor and are perfect for sharing with friends and family. So, grab your stick, put on your helmet, and let’s glide into a rink full of laughter!
TLDR: Key Topics Covered in This Hockey Jokes Post!
- A variety of hockey jokes for all ages
- Hilarious puns to break the ice
- One-liners that score big laughs
Looking for more ice-cool jokes? Check out our hockey puns that will have you laughing all the way to the goal. And if you’re in the mood for more, dive into our extensive collection of jokes and puns. Get ready to laugh out loud and share the fun!
Goalie Gags
Get ready to laugh with these hilarious hockey goalie jokes and puns. From goalie equipment to famous names, we’ve got it all!
- Why did the goalie go to art school? He wanted to learn how to draw penalties!
- How does a goalie eat his cereal? From a bowl save!
- Why don’t goalies get invited to parties? They always keep everyone on edge!
- What do you call a goalie with a broken mask? An open net opportunity!
- Why do goalies wear such big pads? To cushion the blow of defeat!
- How do you know a goalie is good at math? They always keep their angles right!
- Why did the goalie bring string to the game? To tie up the loose ends!
- What did the goalie say to his glove? “Catch you later!”
- Why did the goalie take a ladder to the game? To reach new heights!
- What’s a goalie’s favorite type of music? Heavy net-al!
Equipment Quips
- Why do goalies love their masks? They save face!
- How do goalies keep cool during a game? They wear ice on their masks!
- What’s a goalie’s favorite snack? Glove-ly granola bars!
- Why did the goalie wear a belt? To hold up his pads!
- What did the goalie say when he lost his glove? “I’m feeling a bit off-hand!”
- Why are goalies great at gardening? They’re always ready to dig in!
- What do you call a goalie with no pads? A brave soul!
- Why did the goalie visit the bank? To get more saves!
- How do goalies avoid traffic? They always take the penalty box route!
- Why did the goalie go to comedy school? To improve his timing!
Famous Names and Nicknames
- Why did the goalie named Patrick Roy always win? He had the “royal” touch!
- What do you call a goalie named Marc-Andre? A Fleury of saves!
- Why was the goalie named Dominik Hasek so good? He was always “dominating”!
- What’s a goalie named Henrik’s favorite drink? The Lundqvist Lemonade!
- Why did the goalie named Carey Price always succeed? He knew his worth!
- What’s a goalie named Martin’s favorite ice cream? Brodeur’s Banana Split!
- Why did the goalie named Jonathan Quick always win? He was always fast on the draw!
- What do you call a goalie named Pekka? A Rinne of success!
- Why did the goalie named Cam Talbot always smile? He had a “talbot” of fun!
- What’s a goalie named Roberto’s favorite hobby? Building Luongo-lasting memories!
Power Play Puns
There’s nothing like a good power play to get the crowd roaring, and nothing like a good pun to get them laughing. Here are some of my favorite hockey puns and jokes related to power plays, penalties, and special teams. Enjoy!
- Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? To tie up the score!
- What do hockey players and magicians have in common? Both can do hat tricks!
- Why did the referee stop the power play? Too many “charges” on the ice!
- How do hockey players stay cool during a game? They sit in the penalty box and chill.
- Why did the hockey player go to the bank? To get his penalty “charged”!
- What do you call a hockey player who scores during a power play? A power ranger!
- Why do hockey players never get lost? Because they always follow the “penalty” box!
- What do you call a power play with no goals? A power outage!
- Why was the hockey player a great musician? He had perfect “penalty” pitch!
- How do hockey players make decisions? They always play it by “ear”!
Funny Penalty Puns
Penalties are a part of the game, but they can also be a part of the fun. Check out these penalty-related puns that are sure to make you chuckle.
- Why did the hockey player sit in the penalty box during the game? He needed a “time-out”!
- What do you call it when a hockey player is sent to the penalty box? A “sin bin”!
- Why was the hockey player always calm? He never lost his “cool” in the penalty box!
- What did the hockey player say when he got a penalty? “I can’t believe I got caught!”
- Why don’t hockey players play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding with those penalty minutes!
- What did the coach say to the player with the most penalties? “You’re a real ‘penalty’ killer!”
- Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? To get out of the penalty box faster!
- What do you call a hockey player who spends too much time in the penalty box? A bench warmer!
- How do you know if a hockey player is in trouble? They’re spending too much time in the penalty box!
- Why do hockey players make great comedians? Because they always know how to “penalize” a joke!
For more fun hockey jokes, check out this site.
Ice Breaker Jokes
Get ready to laugh with these ice hockey jokes and puns. Perfect for kids and adults alike, these jokes are sure to break the ice at any gathering!
- Why did the ice hockey player go to the bank? To get his frozen assets!
- Why do hockey players love their rinks? They want to keep it cool!
- What do Zambonis say when they meet? “Nice to meet you, smooth operator!”
- Why did the Zamboni driver apply for the job? He wanted to make a clean sweep!
- How do hockey players stay cool? They sit in the penalty box to chill out!
- Why did the ice complain to the hockey player? Because he was skating on thin ice!
- What do you call a cow on ice skates? An ice cream cone!
- Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score!
- Why did the ice rink become a great comedian? It always broke the ice with a good joke!
- What do you get if you cross a hockey player with a frog? A puck ribbit!
More Ice Breaker Jokes
- How do hockey players stay warm during games? They bring extra ice packs!
- What’s a Zamboni’s favorite type of music? Smooth jazz!
- Why was the hockey player a great musician? Because he had perfect ice-olation!
- What do you call an ice rink full of cats? A purr-formance!
- Why did the hockey player get a job at the ice rink? He wanted to work where he could skate by!
- Why don’t hockey players like to tell secrets on the ice? Because the ice might crack up!
- Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? To reach the high stick!
- What do you call a snowman playing hockey? A cold snap!
- Why did the ice rink refuse to play cards? It was afraid of getting dealt a cold hand!
- How do you know when a hockey rink is broke? When it can’t make ends meet!
Face-Off Funnies
Get ready to laugh with these hilarious hockey jokes about face-offs, puck drops, and center ice battles. From funny face-off wins and losses to humorous stories about battling for the puck, this list has it all!
- Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? To tie the score!
- What do you call a face-off between two goalkeepers? A net gain!
- Why did the referee go to school? To learn how to drop the puck!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of music? Puck rock!
- Why do hockey players make great bankers? They’re good at checking!
- How do you know if a hockey player is a good dancer? Watch their footwork at the face-off!
- What do you call a hockey player who loses all the face-offs? A drop-out!
- Why don’t hockey players tell secrets on the ice? Too many snitches in the rink!
- Why did the hockey puck cross the road? To get to the face-off circle!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite dessert? Ice cream!
Mid-Ice Laughs
- Why did the hockey player go to the bank? To get his face-off savings!
- What do you call a face-off that happens at midnight? A puck drop in!
- Why was the hockey player a great singer? He always hit the high notes at the face-off!
- Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the face-off? To reach new heights!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite drink? Ice tea!
- Why are hockey players great at parties? They always know how to break the ice!
- Why don’t hockey players play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding with all that gear!
- How do hockey players stay cool during a game? They sit in the penalty box – it’s cooler there!
- Why did the hockey player get kicked out of the game? For ice-olation!
- What do you get when you cross a hockey player with a magician? Hat tricks!
If you enjoyed these jokes and want more, check out this awesome list here!
Penalty Box Puns
Hockey isn’t just about goals and saves; the penalty box has its own charm! Here are some hilarious clean hockey jokes that will make you laugh about those penalty minutes.
- Why did the hockey player sit in the penalty box? Because he couldn’t stop icing!
- What do hockey players and magicians have in common? They both do hat tricks!
- Why don’t hockey players get hot? Because they spend most of their time on ice!
- How do you know if a hockey player has a penalty? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
- Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score!
- What do you call a hockey player in the penalty box? A goalie’s best friend!
- Why was the hockey player a great musician? He always played in key!
- Why don’t hockey players play hide and seek? Good luck hiding with all that gear!
- Why did the hockey player get a penalty? For high sticking his nose into everyone’s business!
- Why did the hockey player go to jail? For holding and hooking!
More Penalty Box Fun
- Why did the referee go to art school? To learn how to draw penalties!
- Why was the hockey player always calm? He knew how to handle roughing!
- What does a hockey player do in the penalty box? Time out!
- Why was the hockey rink always cold? Because the penalty box is full of fans!
- Why did the hockey player get in trouble? For cross-checking his homework!
- Why was the hockey player good at math? He always counted his penalty minutes!
- Why did the hockey player get lost? He took a wrong turn into the penalty box!
- Why did the hockey player get a penalty? For tripping over his own skates!
- What do you call a hockey player who never gets penalties? A myth!
- Why did the hockey player get a penalty? He couldn’t keep his stick to himself!
If you enjoyed these jokes, check out our sports jokes for more laughs. And for those who love puns, our sports puns section is a must-read!
Hat Trick Humor
Ready for some hat trick hilarity? Here are the best hockey jokes for adults and kids alike, focusing on those magic moments when a player scores three goals in a game. Enjoy these funny hockey puns and let the laughter score big!
- Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? To tie the score!
- Why was the hockey player invited to every party? He always brought a hat trick!
- How do hockey players stay cool during a game? They sit next to the fans!
- Why did the hockey player go to the bank? To get his hat trick savings!
- What do you call a hockey player who scores three goals in a game? A hat-trick hero!
- Why did the hockey player wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hat trick!
- Why was the hockey player a great musician? He always hit the right notes and hat tricks!
- Why did the hockey player visit the bakery? To get his hat-trick treats!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of hat? A hat trick!
- How do you know a hockey player is good at math? They always calculate their hat tricks!
Celebrating Hat Tricks
Hat tricks are a big deal in hockey. Fans throw hats onto the ice to celebrate. It’s a tradition that makes the moment even more special. Players who score hat tricks are often given the game puck as a keepsake.
- Why did the hockey player go to the hair salon? To get a hat trick!
- Why was the hockey player’s computer so good? It had a hat trick processor!
- Why do hockey players love magic shows? They enjoy the hat tricks!
- What do you call a hockey player with a great sense of humor? A hat trickster!
- Why don’t hockey players get lost? They always follow the hat trick signs!
- Why did the kid bring a ladder to the hockey game? To reach the hat trick!
- How do hockey players stay in shape? They practice their hat tricks!
- What do you call a group of hat-trick scorers? A hat trick squad!
- Why did the hockey player start a cleaning service? He was great at sweeping hat tricks!
- Why did the hockey player buy a new hat? For his next hat trick celebration!
Next time you see a hat trick, remember these jokes and share the fun. It’s all part of the game!
Goaltender Gaffes
Let’s dive into some goalie jokes that will make you laugh out loud. As a hockey fan, I’ve seen my share of goalie blunders. Here are some of my favorite goaltender gaffes:
- Why did the goalie bring string to the game? To tie up the score!
- Why don’t goalies get invited to parties? They’re always creating a save situation!
- What do you call a goalie with a sense of humor? A pun-stopper!
- Why did the goalie eat the puck? He wanted a shutout meal!
- What did the goalie say to his teammates? “I’m the net result of our defense!”
- Why don’t goalies ever get lost? They always know where their goal is!
- What’s a goalie’s favorite fruit? A shutout berry!
- Why did the goalie sit on the clock? He wanted to be on time!
- What do you get when you cross a goalie with a comedian? A blocker and a joker!
- Why did the goalie go to art class? To learn how to make saves!
More Goalie Gags
- What do goalies use to keep their pants up? Their saves!
- Why did the goalie take up gardening? He wanted to be good at stopping greens!
- What’s a goalie’s favorite type of music? Anything with good stops and drops!
- Why did the goalie fail art class? He kept drawing blanks!
- What did the goalie do after he let in a goal? He went to his net worth!
- Why did the goalie break up with his girlfriend? She kept scoring on him!
- Why do goalies make bad politicians? They can’t handle all the backchecking!
- What’s a goalie’s least favorite kind of cake? Turnover!
- Why did the goalie go to jail? He was caught blocking the wrong shot!
- Why did the goalie go to the bank? To check his savings!
These jokes never fail to get a laugh. Whether it’s a clever pun or a funny story, goalies have a special place in hockey humor. If you have more goalie jokes, share them with us on Reddit!
Rink Ruckus
Welcome to the Rink Ruckus section! Here, I’ve gathered some of the best jokes about hockey fights, scrums, and all the rink chaos we love. Enjoy the laughter!
- Why did the hockey player get into a fight? He wanted to break the ice!
- What do you call a hockey player who’s always fighting? A gladiator on ice!
- Why do hockey players never get lost? They always follow the puck!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal, for all the fights!
- Why did the referee break up the fight? He wanted to keep things civil on the rink!
- How did the hockey player feel after the brawl? A bit bruised but unbowed!
- Why did the hockey player fight with his equipment? He couldn’t handle the pressure!
- What does a hockey player do after a fight? Skates it off!
- Why was the hockey player always in the penalty box? He had a knack for causing ruckus!
- How do hockey players settle their differences? With a good old-fashioned rink ruckus!
Chaos on Ice
- Why don’t hockey players worry about chaos? They thrive in it!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite part of the game? The brawls, of course!
- Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? To reach new heights in chaos!
- How do you stop a hockey fight? Just drop another puck!
- Why are hockey fights so entertaining? Because they’re a slam dunk of fun!
- Why did the hockey player love chaos? It made him feel alive!
- What’s the best way to describe a hockey fight? Organized mayhem on ice!
- Why did the hockey player keep fighting? He was in it for the long haul!
- How do you calm a hockey player? Tell him there’s another fight tomorrow!
- Why are hockey players always fighting? It’s their way of saying hello!
Hope you enjoyed these funny hockey jokes and puns! For more laughter, check out the hockey jokes on Reddit.
Hockey Jokes: A Slam Dunk of Laughter and Fun
Coach’s Corner
- Why did the coach go to jail? He couldn’t handle his penalties!
- How do coaches stay cool during games? They sit near the fans!
- Why did the coach bring string to the game? To tie the score!
- What did the coach say to his losing team? “Don’t puck around!”
- Why don’t coaches play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding a game plan!
- How does a coach make decisions? With a lot of “puck-sense”!
- Why did the coach get a ticket? For charging on the ice!
- Why did the coach wear sunglasses? Because his future was too bright!
- Why did the coach stay home from the game? He had a “cold shoulder”!
- How do coaches organize a party? They “ice” the cake!
More Coach’s Corner Jokes
- Why did the coach call a timeout? To “cool down” the players!
- How do you find the best coach? Look for the one with the “winning streak”!
- Why did the coach bring a ladder to practice? To reach new heights!
- How does the coach keep track of his team? With a “scorecard”!
- Why did the coach get in trouble? For “interference” with the ref!
- What do you call a coach who never wins? An “ice-breaker”!
- Why did the coach buy a calendar? To keep track of penalty minutes!
- How do coaches deal with losing? They just “let it slide”!
- Why did the coach love math? He liked calculating the “puck-tuation”!
- What’s a coach’s favorite instrument? The “score-board”!
Player Puns
Ready for some laughs? Here are 30 hockey jokes and puns about players, their names, and funny mistakes.
- Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? To tie the score!
- Why was the hockey player always calm? He knew how to keep his cool.
- Why do hockey players love donuts? They always get to the icing!
- Why did the hockey player go to the bank? To get his penalties cashed.
- What do you get when you cross a hockey player with a magician? Hat tricks!
- Why did the hockey player sit on the clock? He wanted to kill time!
- Why was the hockey player great at math? He had all the angles covered.
- How do hockey players stay in shape? They play ice and seek!
- Why did the hockey player bring a ladder? To get to the high stick!
- Why do hockey players make great comedians? They always deliver a punch line!
- Why don’t hockey players like to eat fast food? They prefer home ice cooking!
- What do hockey players and magicians have in common? They both love to pull off a hat trick!
- Why did the hockey player go to art school? He wanted to learn how to draw penalties!
- Why did the hockey player bring his music to the game? He wanted to face the music!
- Why did the hockey player bring extra socks? He knew he’d get a few hat tricks!
More Player Puns
- Why did the hockey player stay up all night? To get a good penalty nap!
- Why do hockey players love gardening? They always need to weed out the competition!
- Why did the hockey player bring a map? To find the penalty box!
- Why was the hockey player always on time? He didn’t want to miss the puck drop!
- Why did the hockey player get a dog? To have a great team pet!
- Why do hockey players love math? They always know their angles!
- Why did the hockey player bring a pencil? For the hat trick!
- What do you call a hockey player who plays the piano? A score composer!
- Why was the hockey player so good at fishing? He was great at netting!
- Why did the hockey player eat his cereal? He needed to get a few goals!
- Why do hockey players love bedtime stories? They always dream of hat tricks!
- Why did the hockey player bring a camera? To capture all his goals!
- Why was the hockey player great at history? He always knew how to make the cut!
- Why did the hockey player become a baker? He loved icing the puck!
- Why did the hockey player go to the doctor? He had a case of the pucks!
Arena Antics
Welcome to the most humorous corner of the rink! Let’s dive into some hilarious jokes and puns about arenas, their quirks, and the fun traditions that make hockey games a blast.
- Why did the hockey arena get so hot? Because all the fans left!
- What do you call a hockey player who loves to eat arena food? A snack-titioner!
- Why don’t hockey players tell secrets on the ice? Because the arena has too many leaks!
- How do you know if a hockey arena is haunted? It has a ghost goalie!
- Why do they serve popcorn at hockey games? Because it’s a kernel of fun!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of music? Arena rock!
- Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? To tie the score!
- What do hockey players eat before a big game? Pre-skate meals!
- Why did the hockey puck go to jail? For getting into too many fights!
- How do you know if a hockey player is at the arena? The smell of sweat and popcorn!
Arena Food and Traditions
- Why do hockey arenas serve hot dogs? Because they’re a real wiener!
- What’s a hockey referee’s favorite drink? Penalty punch!
- Why do hockey fans love soft pretzels? They’re the twist of the game!
- How do you keep a hockey arena clean? With a puck-up crew!
- Why did the arena install an escalator? For more ups and downs!
- What do you call a rowdy section in a hockey arena? The goal-den crowd!
- Why don’t hockey players eat sandwiches? Because they hate getting caught in a jam!
- What’s a hockey arena’s favorite type of bread? Rye, because it always rises to the occasion!
- Why did the hockey player go to the concession stand? To get a power snack!
- How do you stop a baby from crying at a hockey game? Give them a paci-puck!
I hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Stay tuned for more laughter in the next section.
Seasonal Silliness
Get ready for a laugh with these hockey-themed jokes and puns! Perfect for any season, especially around the holidays. Whether you’re celebrating a goal or the festive season, these jokes will keep you in good cheer.
- Why do hockey players love Christmas? Because they always get a good ice-ing!
- What do you call a hockey player who loves Christmas? A Christmas Puck!
- Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score!
- How do hockey players stay cool during the playoffs? They sit near the fans!
- What do hockey players do on Christmas? They deck the halls with hockey sticks!
- Why are hockey players great at making Christmas decorations? They know how to handle ornaments!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite holiday drink? Ice Tea!
- Why do hockey players make great comedians? They always get the puck jokes right!
- How does a hockey player celebrate New Year’s Eve? By dropping the puck at midnight!
- Why did the hockey player visit Santa? He wanted to score a hat trick!
Holiday Hockey Hilarity
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite Christmas carol? “I’m Dreaming of a White Ice!”
- Why do hockey players love holiday lights? Because they always aim to shine!
- How do hockey players decorate their Christmas trees? With lots of stick-ers!
- Why did the hockey player go to the North Pole? To practice on the best ice!
- What did the hockey player say after winning the championship? “Stick with me, team!”
- Why was the hockey player a great gift wrapper? He could handle any wrap-around!
- How do hockey players stay warm in winter? They’re always in their jerseys!
- Why are hockey players good at baking? They know how to handle the dough!
- What’s a hockey player’s favorite holiday song? “Frosty the Snowman” – he loves the ice!
- How do hockey players send Christmas cards? They slap-shot them into the mail!
