Norm Macdonald jokes have a unique way of tickling our funny bones while making us ponder life’s absurdities. His sharp wit, deadpan delivery, and clever wordplay have earned him a special place in the comedy hall of fame. Whether you’re a long-time fan or new to his humor, exploring Norm Macdonald’s comedic legacy promises endless laughter and surprising insights.

Norm Macdonald’s humor transcends typical comedy. His jokes often blend simplicity with depth, leaving audiences in stitches. It’s this blend that has made his work timeless. Want to dive deeper into his comedic genius? Check out our article on modern comedy trends to see how Norm’s style influenced today’s comedians.

Looking for more laughs? Our compilation of the funniest jokes will keep you entertained. Norm Macdonald’s legacy continues to inspire and amuse, proving that great humor never fades.

Food for Thought: Culinary Humor

Norm Macdonald had a knack for weaving food into his jokes. Here are some of his best food-related quips that make us laugh and think:

1. “You ever eat a banana and think, ‘This is nature’s candy bar’?”
2. “I had to quit eating those microwave dinners. I kept hearing my food scream ‘Help! Get me out!'”
3. “Why do they call it ‘fast food’? It takes just as long to eat!”
4. “I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.”
5. “A hot dog at the ballpark is better than steak at the Ritz.”
6. “I love sandwiches. You don’t have to cook it. You just put stuff between bread.”
7. “My favorite restaurant? Any place that has ‘all you can eat’ on the sign.”
8. “You ever notice how cereal is just an excuse to eat sugar for breakfast?”
9. “I stopped drinking coffee. I realized I was just drinking cake in a cup.”
10. “I tried that paleo diet. Turns out, cavemen didn’t eat pizza.”

Absurdity in Culinary Humor

Norm often used food as a metaphor for larger themes, blending absurdity with wit:

11. “You know, they say we are what we eat. I’m starting to feel like a donut.”
12. “Ever notice how ‘diet’ foods taste like cardboard? Maybe we’re meant to eat real food.”
13. “Eating healthy is easy. Just avoid anything that tastes good.”
14. “Fast food chains are the only places where the ‘special’ is the same every day.”
15. “I once ate at a restaurant so fancy, even the water had a last name.”
16. “They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away. But what if you don’t like apples?”
17. “I tried to go vegan, but then I realized I love bacon too much.”
18. “Ever wonder why food tastes better when someone else cooks it? It’s because you don’t have to clean up.”
19. “I like cooking shows. They make me feel like I could actually cook, which I can’t.”
20. “Why do they call them ‘French fries’? They’re just fries. I’ve never seen them in France.”

Norm’s culinary humor is a testament to his ability to find laughter in the everyday. For more of his classic jokes, check out this article on Cracked.

Norm Macdonald Jokes: A Legacy of Laughter

Norm Macdonald was a comedic genius, known for his sharp wit and keen sense of humor. Here are some of his most memorable jokes:

1. “You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.”
2. “I wouldn’t call myself a fan of steampunk, but I do like to watch people in goggles build things that don’t work.”
3. “They say the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So aim a little lower.”
4. “The worst thing about being in my forties is that I have to check my pulse every few minutes.”
5. “I don’t care what anyone says about me as long as it isn’t true.”
6. “I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.”
7. “Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you’re diabetic, then insulin is probably better.”
8. “I used to be a fan of self-deprecating humor, but now I’m just a fan of deprecating humor.”
9. “My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.”
10. “I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”

Pop Culture Parodies: Satirizing the Stars

11. “Reality TV is the worst. It’s like watching a car accident, except you know everyone involved signed waivers.”
12. “I don’t understand fashion. Why would I pay more for something that looks like it was attacked by a bear?”
13. “Celebrity scandals are just like high school gossip, but with better lawyers.”
14. “I used to think I could be an actor, but then I realized I wasn’t tall enough to fit into their egos.”
15. “Musicians are always talking about their ‘creative process.’ My creative process involves a lot of snacks and naps.”
16. “Movies always show people running in high heels. If I tried that, I’d be in the emergency room.”
17. “Every time a celebrity tweets something dumb, an angel gets its wings.”
18. “I once tried to take a selfie with a celebrity. Turns out it was just a cardboard cutout. Still got more likes than my usual pics.”
19. “The best thing about social media is that it lets me know exactly who to avoid at parties.”
20. “I used to watch award shows, but now I just wait for the memes.”

For more of Norm Macdonald’s unforgettable jokes, check out this Cracked article.

Self-Deprecation: Laughing at Himself

Norm Macdonald’s humor often centered around self-deprecation. He loved to joke about his life and experiences. This approach allowed him to connect with audiences on a personal level. Here are some of Norm’s funniest self-deprecating jokes:

1. “I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.”
2. “My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.”
3. “I haven’t been sleeping well. I sleep like a baby. I wake up every two hours and cry.”
4. “I don’t like talking about my age. I am 46 years old, which is a lot for a tree.”
5. “I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”
6. “I have a great diet. You’re allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.”
7. “I’m on the patch right now. It releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it.”
8. “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
9. “I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that.”
10. “I’m on a whisky diet. I’ve lost three days already.”

Connecting with Audiences

Norm’s self-deprecating humor helped him connect with audiences. By laughing at himself, he made everyone feel more comfortable. It was a way to break down barriers and invite people into his world. For more on how celebrities use humor, check out our celebrity jokes.

His jokes about age and appearance are legendary. Here are a few more gems:

11. “I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.”
12. “I know I’m not a good-looking guy. I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie.’ He said, ‘God beat me to it.'”
13. “I’m not fat. I’m just easier to see.”
14. “My dad used to say, ‘Always fight fire with fire.’ Which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.”
15. “I’m not good at math. I don’t even know how many problems I have.”
16. “I once heard two guys talking about me. One said, ‘Why is he such a fat idiot?’ I wanted to turn around and say, ‘Hey! I have feelings too. I’m not just fat.'”
17. “I’m not bald. I’m just taller than my hair.”
18. “I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.”
19. “I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”
20. “I’m not lazy. I’m on energy-saving mode.”

Norm Macdonald left us with a treasure trove of laughter. His self-deprecation was both humble and hilarious. For more humorous insights, visit our section on celebrity puns.

Wordplay: Master of Puns

Norm Macdonald was a genius with words. His clever use of language and grammar made his jokes timeless. Here are some of his best wordplay jokes:

1. “A friend of mine asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said, ‘No, but I want a regular banana later, so… yeah.'”
2. “I saw a sign that said ‘Watch for children’ and I thought, ‘That sounds like a fair trade.'”
3. “I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member.”
4. “My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”
5. “I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.”
6. “I had a parrot. The parrot talked, but it did not say ‘I’m hungry,’ so it died.”
7. “I was gonna throw the ball to the first baseman, but I thought, ‘Why not throw it to all the basemen?'”
8. “I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that.”
9. “I’m not afraid of heights. I’m afraid of widths.”
10. “I have a large seashell collection, which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world.”

Norm’s Clever Use of Language

Norm’s jokes often played with mispronunciations and mishearings, adding layers to his humor. Here are more examples:

11. “I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.”
12. “I bought a map of the world. It’s actual size. I spent the next year folding it.”
13. “I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”
14. “I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”
15. “I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.”
16. “I don’t play sports. The only sport I ever played was poker with a deck of tarot cards.”
17. “I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.”
18. “I was at a casino, standing by the door, and the security guard said, ‘You can’t leave.’ I said, ‘Why not?’ He said, ‘Because you haven’t been here yet.'”
19. “I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.”
20. “I was walking down the street when this man said, ‘I’m going to open a dry cleaners.’ I said, ‘I don’t like your idea.’ He said, ‘That’s just because you’re wet.'”

Norm Macdonald’s humor was not just about the punchline but also about the journey. His witty remarks on idioms and colloquialisms left us laughing and thinking. Norm’s legacy in comedy will be cherished forever.

Norm Macdonald Jokes: A Legacy of Laughter

Sarcastic Remarks

Norm Macdonald was a master of sarcastic humor. He often made fun of politics, news, and social issues. Here are some of his memorable sarcastic remarks:

1. “Note to self: Don’t interview Ryan Reynolds.”
2. “You know what they say: ‘You can’t win ’em all.’ Especially if you’re a Democrat.”
3. “I was reading the paper today. No, I wasn’t.”
4. “The economy is so bad, I bought a toaster and it came with a bank.”
5. “I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. I said, ‘Thyroid problem?'”
6. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
7. “I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means ‘put down.'”
8. “I was like, ‘Oh man, I’m going to be on the cover of Rolling Stone!’ Then I remembered, ‘No, you’re not a hot woman in a bikini.'”
9. “I used to be a news reporter. Now I’m just a guy who watches the news.”
10. “I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at a car’s headlights and tell you exactly which way it’s coming.”

More Sarcastic Zingers from Norm

11. “I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!”
12. “Why do they call it a ‘building’? It looks like they’re finished. Why isn’t it a ‘built’?”
13. “I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”
14. “I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets. Which is great because now I don’t have to hold things when I sleep.”
15. “I was walking down the street and a guy waved to me. Then he came up to me and said, ‘I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else.’ I said, ‘I am.'”
16. “My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.”
17. “I don’t have a girlfriend. But I know a girl that would get really mad if she heard me say that.”
18. “I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”
19. “I was going to have plastic surgery until I noticed that the doctor’s office was full of portraits by Picasso.”
20. “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.”

Norm Macdonald’s sharp wit and sarcastic remarks left a lasting impact on comedy. His jokes often reflected his unique take on the absurdity of current events and social norms.

Self-Referential Humor: Inside Jokes

Norm Macdonald had a knack for self-referential humor. He often poked fun at his own comedy style and persona, giving his audience a unique, inside look at the quirks of the comedy business.

1. “I never wanted to be famous; I wanted to be infamous.”
2. “They say comedy is all about timing. I say it’s about being Canadian.”
3. “People ask me why I tell jokes. I say, ‘Because I’m not a doctor.’”
4. “I’ve been in this business for 30 years, and I still don’t know what I’m doing.”
5. “A comedian’s job is to make people laugh, not think. Wait, I got that backwards.”
6. “The best part of being a comedian? Free therapy.”
7. “Comedy is in my blood. Literally, I’ve had transfusions.”
8. “They say laughter is the best medicine, but I prefer a good steak.”
9. “I once told a joke so bad, it made a room full of comedians laugh.”
10. “People always ask me for advice. I tell them, ‘Don’t listen to me.’”

Norm Macdonald on Saturday Night Live

Norm’s time on “Saturday Night Live” was legendary. His unique approach to comedy and his witty remarks about the industry set him apart from others.

11. “SNL? More like ‘Stay Not Lively,’ am I right?”
12. “I wasn’t fired from SNL. I just didn’t show up one day.”
13. “On SNL, I played myself. It was my most challenging role.”
14. “The best part of SNL? The after-parties. The worst part? The show.”
15. “I joined SNL to meet celebrities. I left because they met me.”
16. “SNL is like high school, but with better cafeteria food.”
17. “I didn’t leave SNL; SNL left me.”
18. “They say SNL makes stars. I say it makes insomniacs.”
19. “SNL taught me one thing: how to sleep standing up.”
20. “I miss SNL sometimes. But mostly, I miss my bed.”

Norm Macdonald’s approach to comedy was unique and unforgettable. His jokes about his career and the comedy industry often provided a witty and humorous look at the quirks of the business. For more insights and retrospectives on Norm Macdonald’s comedy, check out this article from The New York Times.

Absurdity: Embracing the Surreal

Norm Macdonald was a master of absurd and surreal humor. His jokes often defied logic and reason, creating a unique comedic style that left audiences in stitches. Here are some examples that showcase the trailblazing humor of Norm Macdonald and his offbeat approach:

1. “I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. I said, ‘Thyroid problem?'”
2. “I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging, but I think I’m the greatest comic in the world.”
3. “My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said, ‘No, but I want a regular banana later, so…yeah.'”
4. “I would love to be a guy who does the weather, because then you could get away with anything.”
5. “The worst thing about the airline food is that you don’t get a second opinion.”
6. “I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who would be mad at me for saying that.”
7. “I was in a cab in New York. The cabbie asked me, ‘Where are you going?’ and I said, ‘To the doctor.’ He said, ‘Which doctor?’ I said, ‘You know, the regular kind.'”
8. “I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.”
9. “I found out my wife is cheating on me. She’s cheating on me with a younger man. I found out by accident. I was walking by a window and saw her cheating on me.”
10. “The funny thing about going to the gym is that you never see any fat people there.”

Surreal Situations

11. “I was walking down the street, and I found a severed arm. I thought, ‘Well, I guess I’ll take this to the police station.’ So, I started walking, and then I found a severed leg. I thought, ‘Well, I guess I’ll take this to the police station too.’ So, now I’m walking with a severed arm and a severed leg.”
12. “I was at a party, and a guy said, ‘I’m a really good magician.’ I said, ‘Can you make my wife disappear?’ He said, ‘Sure, just sign these papers.'”
13. “I bought a dog. I named him ‘Stay.’ Now, I say, ‘Come here, Stay!’ and he just looks confused.”
14. “I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, ‘denigrate’ means ‘put down.'”
15. “I saw a commercial where a man said, ‘Lose weight without dieting or exercise.’ I said, ‘Wow, that guy must be a magician!'”
16. “I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.”
17. “I like the idea of a movie where a guy is going to die at the end, and you know it the whole time. It’s called ‘The Guy Who’s Going to Die at the End.'”
18. “If you’re watching a parade, make sure you stand in one spot. Don’t follow it; it never changes. And if it does, come back and let me know.”
19. “I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings… ‘Boy with Pail’… ‘Kitten on Fire.'”
20. “I once worked at a pet store, and people kept asking how big I’d get. So, I said, ‘Well, it depends on how much you feed me.'”

Norm Macdonald’s use of absurdity broke new ground in comedy. His jokes often took unexpected turns, leaving us both confused and amused. This trailblazing humor of Norm Macdonald continues to inspire comedians today.

Historical References: Laughing at the Past

Norm Macdonald had a knack for weaving historical events and figures into his comedy. Here are some of his best jokes that make us laugh at the past:

1. “The first time I read the dictionary, I thought it was a poem about everything.”
2. “A new study found that humans have a lot of bones. I think it was called archaeology.”
3. “Back in ancient Rome, they had gladiators. Today, we have football. Both involve helmets and bloodthirsty spectators.”
4. “Did you hear about the Renaissance fair? It’s like Comic-Con but with fewer showers.”
5. “I once asked a historian if the history books ever had a happy ending. He just laughed.”
6. “They say the pen is mightier than the sword. Clearly, they never fought a knight.”
7. “History repeats itself. That’s one reason to pay attention during history class.”
8. “I told my friend I was reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down, he said.”
9. “If I had a time machine, I’d go back and get a selfie with the dinosaurs.”
10. “Why did the scarecrow become a history teacher? He was outstanding in his field.”

Jokes About Historical Landmarks and Monuments

11. “The Leaning Tower of Pisa is a great example of bad planning turned into a tourist attraction.”
12. “Mount Rushmore is proof that even mountains have a face for politics.”
13. “The Great Wall of China: ancient, majestic, and a nightmare for Amazon delivery.”
14. “The Eiffel Tower is an architectural marvel. It’s also a giant French antenna.”
15. “How do you know when a pyramid scheme is historical? When it’s actually a pyramid.”
16. “The Colosseum: where ancient Romans proved that ticket scalping is not a modern invention.”
17. “Big Ben is a clock. If that impresses you, wait until you see my microwave.”
18. “I once visited the Statue of Liberty. She looked like she needed a vacation.”
19. “The Taj Mahal is beautiful. It’s also a reminder to never say, ‘I’ll build you a palace’ in an argument.”
20. “Stonehenge is proof that even ancient people loved building things they didn’t fully understand.”

Top 20 Norm Macdonald Jokes

Norm Macdonald’s humor was a blend of wit, absurdity, and clever wordplay. Here are 20 of his funniest jokes that showcase his unique comedic style.

1. “They say ‘Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.’
2. “A moth goes into a podiatrist’s office. The podiatrist says, ‘What’s the problem?’
3. “I don’t care for politics and never will. I’m Canadian.”
4. “The worst part about being an atheist is that you have nobody to talk to during an orgasm.”
5. “I was in love with a girl for two years, but she was married.”
6. “I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. I said, ‘Thyroid problem?'”
7. “I’m pretty sure, I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure if you die, the cancer dies at the same time.”
8. “When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was.”
9. “I don’t know much about politics, but I can recognize a good party when I see one.”
10. “I saw a wino eating grapes. I was like, ‘Dude, you have to wait.'”
11. “The New York Times is read by people who think they ought to run the country.”
12. “I’m on the Zoloft to keep from killing y’all.”
13. “I was in a cab, and the driver said, ‘I love this job because I’m my own boss. And I have only one customer at a time.’
14. “My Uncle Bert was an agoraphobic, a shut-in. He was one of those guys who looks out the window all day, sees one guy come to the door and another guy leave. He says, ‘Look at those two guys. One of them is Irish, the other is Polish. I can’t tell which is which.'”
15. “‘I like doing nothing, it is better than something.”
16. “A dog is always on the wrong side of the door.”
17. “A guy told me that he was going to a self-help group. I said, ‘Why don’t you just help yourself?'”
18. “I miss the days when you could just hit a guy with a shovel.”
19. “I like the idea of an afterlife, but how does it work? Do you get younger or just stay the same age?”
20. “My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said, ‘No, but I want a regular banana later, so … yeah.'”